Wednesday, December 26, 2012

He's an Angry Elf

About a month ago as I shopped for little presents, and cooked and froze meals and treats, and put together craft projects and bought Christmas movies for children, I pictured in my little secret heart a warm and tender Christmas filled with joy.  I pictured a real Hallmark made for TV movie starring me.

I thought, these kids may have their troubles, but they will be so grateful for a Christmas filled with family, and love and special presents just for them that as I watch them and share it with them....well, my heart will probably grow 3 sizes that day.

Let's start with Christmas Eve.  One of my little preparations was that age old cheese-ball family tradition of opening matching pj's to sleep in.  I got all of us matching red and green stripes EXCEPT James.  Unbeknownst to him of course.  I got him green thermal pants and a green elf pj top.  I knew it would look hilarious, and in my little wishful heart I pictured the kids and me laughing and laughing as he opened his up.  We would all share in the little joke of how funny papa would look.

This is how it went down.  I handed out the presents and Sasha started telling me a long angry story in Russian in which the only words I could pick out were: Latvia, Pajamas, stupid, and I don't wear them.  He only guessed they were pajamas, but he was right.  When he opened them he said (and imagine an angry Russian accent) "Pajamas...niet!  Pajamas....yuck!" and then picture him throwing them only half unwrapped to the floor.

Aloysia only unwrapped and put his on after seeing me start to cry a little, and Dana bless her sweet heart was actually excited and happily changed. 

When James opened his, the rest of the family laughed, but none of our little buns were to be seen.  He agreed in good sportsmanlike manner to change in to them.  And it was the only thing that made me laugh all day.  And I will admit I laughed HARD.  Not that they didn't look splendid - not many men can truly pull off an elf outit like him.  Only Will Ferrel I'd say. 

We attempted to take a family picture that did not include Sasha, and I'll post the results of that tomorrow.  Compared to the Ellis family all holding hands and dancing in a circle singing in their matching pjs, we looked like the Bundy's compared to their Cosby show.

The angry elf part came in a bit later that evening.  I will say only took us 3 hours to put Aloysia to bed.  The 3 hours invovles us chasing him, James being bit, spit at and kicked and punched by him.  It involves screaming, and crying and finally James play wrestling with him for an hour to try to wear him out.  It is the most painful process I have ever been witness to, and these pictures show James post-wrestling match.  He emerged from the den covered in sweat in his amazing elf pajamas, tired but feeling victorious at last.

As he watched...thinking Aloysia would quietly march to bed now, the young bun dashed from the room, saw his "cousin's" full size Barbie santa gift standing in the living room, ran to it and assaulted it in a way that must have truly left her feeling violated.  And my angry elf husband began the wrestling again.

Our children were far from nestled all snug in their beds, and so began our Christmas miracle.  More Elf meets Freddy Kruger than It's a Wonderful Life.


  1. oh boy. I hate to laugh because I am sure it was very discouraging and disappointing, but truly James in those pajamas does bring comedy to the situation. I am sure it broke your heart that all you were trying to do was provide a wonderful Christmas for these kids and then they react that way. someday you will be able to look back and laugh. bless you and James. I have a friend here that adopted a girl from Russia. If you ever want to talk with her, let me know. xoxo.

  2. This post is the gift that keeps on giving. I read this the day you posted it, and have had the image of James wearing those elf pj's come into my mind a few times since - each and every time it makes me laugh out loud. :-) Thank you for posting that, AND props to James for actually agreeing to wear them. XOXO