We are packing up and looking at the flight tracker and realizing that in one hour we will start our journey to the JFK airport.
We made our welcome sign, bought bottles of water and snacks for when they land, brought our gift card for the chaperones and a small gift for the children. We have their insurance forms and their beds made, and their new pajamas laying out at home. Ostensibly, we are ready.
This morning we said a prayer together. James asked that angels would watch over the children while they were with us and protect them, and his voice caught when he said it. And whether you go in for angels or God or not, this is the time you might want to believe. And I do. Because I know we're going to need all the help we can get.
I hope we love them as soon as we see them, but that's never happened to me before so I don't know how or if it works. I want to. I want to have one of those experiences where you look at them and know they are yours. But life and prayers and answers have never worked so simply for me. I usually just have to walk blindly in to the dark night of faith and hope I come out in to light and clarity on the other side. The good news is, when I've had the courage in the past to walk not knowing, I have always found that light. Which makes this just a little bit easier today. A little.
But I still hope I know when I see them. And I hope that if this love on sight happens that we don't lose them. So I remind myself to live in this moment only and work on the love part. I. will let the future and any pain that might come work itself out then.
It's time.
We made our welcome sign, bought bottles of water and snacks for when they land, brought our gift card for the chaperones and a small gift for the children. We have their insurance forms and their beds made, and their new pajamas laying out at home. Ostensibly, we are ready.
This morning we said a prayer together. James asked that angels would watch over the children while they were with us and protect them, and his voice caught when he said it. And whether you go in for angels or God or not, this is the time you might want to believe. And I do. Because I know we're going to need all the help we can get.
I hope we love them as soon as we see them, but that's never happened to me before so I don't know how or if it works. I want to. I want to have one of those experiences where you look at them and know they are yours. But life and prayers and answers have never worked so simply for me. I usually just have to walk blindly in to the dark night of faith and hope I come out in to light and clarity on the other side. The good news is, when I've had the courage in the past to walk not knowing, I have always found that light. Which makes this just a little bit easier today. A little.
But I still hope I know when I see them. And I hope that if this love on sight happens that we don't lose them. So I remind myself to live in this moment only and work on the love part. I. will let the future and any pain that might come work itself out then.
It's time.
I know there is a lot of love and a lot of prayers headed your way today. From this side of the Atlantic too. Loves. Janiece
ReplyDeleteWoW! Shauri!!! congrats
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and James...and those three sweet and well deserving kids, I'm sure it will be an unforgettable experience. I can't wait to hear all about it. XOXO. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteYou are stronger and more faithful than you realize. The angels will be with you all!
ReplyDeleteTears are flowing. I have so much love for you and James. This takes huge amounts of courage. You have taken this on and shared the honest emotions the so often we hide because someone might think of us poorly. Instead it empowers me to try harder, pray more, listen more closely.
ReplyDeleteHugs and kisses when you go to rest your head on your pillow tonight.
you can do this! such brave steps to take. but you always had too much love in that heart to keep for yourself, shauri! let the love and laughter flow! thinking of you & james and your new little ones, waking up tomorrow and watching signing time together (so that you can communicate!). :)
ReplyDelete