First, I'm so sorry if you have commented on my blog and/or FB and I haven't responded to you. I hope all of you know how truly grateful I am to read your supportive and kind words. Obviously I don't buy any of them at this moment, but they are sincerely appreciated. This is one of those moments where I next write, I'm kidding - but we all know I'm only sort of kidding. So there.
I'm seriously a mess. I cry anytime I talk to an adult, and sometimes just with the kids. They're probably saying to each other in Russian, "This lady is the messed up one here, not us!" I can't stop - it's bizarre. I finally dried up when James got home today. I can't tell you what a blessed relief it was. And it was cute when the kids saw him - they all yelled Baba or Papa or whatever they are saying and ran to him and hugged him. Maybe I should look it up - perhaps Baba means Die capitalist American and isn't endearing at all.
Dana cries in her sleep a few times a night, and last night James was kind enough to get up with her. The first two times he rocked her and put her back. The third time was around 3:30. He found her down in the living room looking angrily at the Christmas tree lights. He picked her up and brought her to the basement on the bean bag and turned off all the lights. She fell asleep.
Yup, that's a real cute story. Until you hear what I found at 6:30 am when I went down with the boys (up at 5:30 - hooray for progress!) to wake James up for work. I turned on the light and James and Dana were in the bean bag - wrapped up in two towels he found in the bathroom. He was too tired to find a blanket and they were freezing. You see - you never know if it's funny or tragic. Laugh or cry?
In other nightmarish moments today, let me tell you about the dentist. A little history: apparently in Eastern block countries the dentists don't use Novocaine, they're a bit abrupt, the like to pull teeth and in general it's a rather unpleasant place to go.
At the last minute I texted James' sister's sister in law, Melinda Richards, to see if she could go with me. I didn't think I needed her, but I had a prompting to text her and ask. I thought, well, it would definitely help to have a translator for the kids.
That is one prompting I am GLAD I heeded. Glad doesn't even begin to sum it up. I told the kids ahead of time what we were doing to prepare them. Based on their reaction to their surprise tutor yesterday I thought it would be best to give them time to mentally prepare for events. Not so much.
When Melinda arrived, Sasha ran up to his room, got on his bunk and REFUSED to go. The other two were crying and saying no, no, no. I got shoes on one and then they ran away as I tried to wrangle shoes on the next. I finally got the two youngest ready. Meanwhile all of Melinda's Russian convincing that the dentist was a safe place didn't work on Sasha, so next thing I know she literally is carrying this 8 year old down the stairs over her shoulder and out to the car with no shoes. I'm carrying two others - one under each arm - and we are both trying to get them all buckled in and locked in so they can't escape. I wish I had a picture because my words aren't doing it just, but just stop and try to imagine. I dare you.
They proceed to cry the whole way and then we wrestle them in to the lobby. Dana is just scream-crying at this point about going to the hospital. Hospital?? The receptionist was pleased at our arrival, as I'm sure you can imagine. And Dana's terror grew each time a dental hygenist came out to claim the next child. Each one left with a look and a gait that clearly implied they were going to the electric chair. When I carried Dana back she just cried and cried and nothing would calm her. Even seeing that her brother was OK. The hygenist would ask Dana to open her mouth and she would do it while sobbing the whole time.
I could tell you so many more amazing details about this trip to the wonderful world of dental hygiene, but I'll stop there. The point is, I had no idea that without Melinda I LITERALLY would not have made it to the dentist. I simply needed more arms to carry screaming children than I have. She saved me, and as much as I didn't want to bother her or anyone - I'm so glad I did.
(Which leads me to all you super kind people who have offered - LuAnn, Catherine, Bruce to name a few. I'm so, so sorry I haven't called or contacted you. There are two reasons why: 1. I can't. I cry every time I talk and it's pathetic and I can't bear to do it to people anymore. 2. I just don't know if it will help, and I'm scared it will be a bad experience for you and your kids. So forgive me, I'm terribly grateful, but I don't know what to do and don't want to drag others in to this. But really, Thank you.)
Rather than end here, I will share one cute story. Tonight Kristin brought her kids over to the park and this was the best moment of last night, and again tonight. Because Max and Aviva are great with the older kids. They've made friends with Sasha and they all run around together. Bless them.
After we finished at the park, I couldn't bear to go home with 3 long hours before bedtime stretching ahead and nothing to do, so I begged Kristin to let us come eat with them. While we were over at their house, Aviva started playing with Dana and showing her how to dress up in her clothes. She made Dana in to a princess and made her so happy. See the lovely results. (sorry, dark i-phone photo)
Aviva was so kind to her and took her under her wing. She gave her a bracelet to take home (now I'm crying again!) and gave her a hug and a kiss when she left and told her she loved her. It was so sweet and tender and I'm so grateful for Aviva and other little sweet moments like that which make my day.
As hard as this is, by the time I get through each day and tuck them in I do think...OK. I can do this. Tomorrow will be better. And like having a baby, it may not be, but at least you forget long enough that you can make yourself do it again.
I'm seriously a mess. I cry anytime I talk to an adult, and sometimes just with the kids. They're probably saying to each other in Russian, "This lady is the messed up one here, not us!" I can't stop - it's bizarre. I finally dried up when James got home today. I can't tell you what a blessed relief it was. And it was cute when the kids saw him - they all yelled Baba or Papa or whatever they are saying and ran to him and hugged him. Maybe I should look it up - perhaps Baba means Die capitalist American and isn't endearing at all.
Dana cries in her sleep a few times a night, and last night James was kind enough to get up with her. The first two times he rocked her and put her back. The third time was around 3:30. He found her down in the living room looking angrily at the Christmas tree lights. He picked her up and brought her to the basement on the bean bag and turned off all the lights. She fell asleep.
Yup, that's a real cute story. Until you hear what I found at 6:30 am when I went down with the boys (up at 5:30 - hooray for progress!) to wake James up for work. I turned on the light and James and Dana were in the bean bag - wrapped up in two towels he found in the bathroom. He was too tired to find a blanket and they were freezing. You see - you never know if it's funny or tragic. Laugh or cry?
In other nightmarish moments today, let me tell you about the dentist. A little history: apparently in Eastern block countries the dentists don't use Novocaine, they're a bit abrupt, the like to pull teeth and in general it's a rather unpleasant place to go.
At the last minute I texted James' sister's sister in law, Melinda Richards, to see if she could go with me. I didn't think I needed her, but I had a prompting to text her and ask. I thought, well, it would definitely help to have a translator for the kids.
That is one prompting I am GLAD I heeded. Glad doesn't even begin to sum it up. I told the kids ahead of time what we were doing to prepare them. Based on their reaction to their surprise tutor yesterday I thought it would be best to give them time to mentally prepare for events. Not so much.
When Melinda arrived, Sasha ran up to his room, got on his bunk and REFUSED to go. The other two were crying and saying no, no, no. I got shoes on one and then they ran away as I tried to wrangle shoes on the next. I finally got the two youngest ready. Meanwhile all of Melinda's Russian convincing that the dentist was a safe place didn't work on Sasha, so next thing I know she literally is carrying this 8 year old down the stairs over her shoulder and out to the car with no shoes. I'm carrying two others - one under each arm - and we are both trying to get them all buckled in and locked in so they can't escape. I wish I had a picture because my words aren't doing it just, but just stop and try to imagine. I dare you.
They proceed to cry the whole way and then we wrestle them in to the lobby. Dana is just scream-crying at this point about going to the hospital. Hospital?? The receptionist was pleased at our arrival, as I'm sure you can imagine. And Dana's terror grew each time a dental hygenist came out to claim the next child. Each one left with a look and a gait that clearly implied they were going to the electric chair. When I carried Dana back she just cried and cried and nothing would calm her. Even seeing that her brother was OK. The hygenist would ask Dana to open her mouth and she would do it while sobbing the whole time.
I could tell you so many more amazing details about this trip to the wonderful world of dental hygiene, but I'll stop there. The point is, I had no idea that without Melinda I LITERALLY would not have made it to the dentist. I simply needed more arms to carry screaming children than I have. She saved me, and as much as I didn't want to bother her or anyone - I'm so glad I did.
(Which leads me to all you super kind people who have offered - LuAnn, Catherine, Bruce to name a few. I'm so, so sorry I haven't called or contacted you. There are two reasons why: 1. I can't. I cry every time I talk and it's pathetic and I can't bear to do it to people anymore. 2. I just don't know if it will help, and I'm scared it will be a bad experience for you and your kids. So forgive me, I'm terribly grateful, but I don't know what to do and don't want to drag others in to this. But really, Thank you.)
Rather than end here, I will share one cute story. Tonight Kristin brought her kids over to the park and this was the best moment of last night, and again tonight. Because Max and Aviva are great with the older kids. They've made friends with Sasha and they all run around together. Bless them.
After we finished at the park, I couldn't bear to go home with 3 long hours before bedtime stretching ahead and nothing to do, so I begged Kristin to let us come eat with them. While we were over at their house, Aviva started playing with Dana and showing her how to dress up in her clothes. She made Dana in to a princess and made her so happy. See the lovely results. (sorry, dark i-phone photo)
Aviva was so kind to her and took her under her wing. She gave her a bracelet to take home (now I'm crying again!) and gave her a hug and a kiss when she left and told her she loved her. It was so sweet and tender and I'm so grateful for Aviva and other little sweet moments like that which make my day.
As hard as this is, by the time I get through each day and tuck them in I do think...OK. I can do this. Tomorrow will be better. And like having a baby, it may not be, but at least you forget long enough that you can make yourself do it again.
Hi Shauri, I love reading your blog! I wish I was there to help you and I will say this, as I'm sure everyone else is, it gets easier every day. I've had kids for 4 plus years now and as soon as Matt walks in the door from work, relief rushes over me. I think this is an amazing thing you and James are doing and I hope everything works out for you. You are so amazing!! Enjoy those little ones and just take one day at a time!!-mary kennedy price
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