Sunday, January 6, 2013

Das Vedanya Comrades

Yesterday was a perfect day with the kids. 

James took the boys down to the air and space museum and the botanical gardens and out to lunch.  He said they were in heaven and loved every minute of it.  Which is great considering how Sasha refused to get out of the car when I dropped them off, and gave us his best angry slamming of the car door as he got out.  But hey, he loved it.

Dana and I went shopping for their suitcases, which she informed me in angry Russian, "wasn't shopping."  But I like to think we still enjoyed our girl time.

Later that day there was a hike with the Ellises, of which the highlight was Abram swinging from a tree branch that apparently wasn't well connected or connected at all and taking a plunge in some icy river/stream water.  I'm pretty sure the kids enjoyed that.

And the finale was pizza knuckles and pasta followed by the Guardians movie.  We lucked out and randomly got a Russian speaking server at the restaurant who made the whole ordering process smooth and gave the kids special attention.  We already loved Delia's, but now it is the ultimate favorite restaurant in D.C. 

It was a good day.  A perfect day.  I was so happy that our last full day with them went so well and took it as a good omen. 

Today was our last day.  And we were dreading "The Conversation" which Jason Cash will agree is much more deserving of a title than "The Decision" of a couple years ago.  (Shout out Jason!)

We sat the kids down and with our translator told them that they would be going to a new home for one week before they returned to Latvia.  I waited for the explosions, the tears, the throwing of dishes....
One question, "Why do we have to go?" 
We told them that mama was really sick right now and needed to rest in bed.  Sasha nodded and commented, "Yes, she's been getting sicker every day." 

And in fact, he drew me a picture while I was in bed this morning that showed 4 stages:  Mama throwing up, mama in bed looking dead, an ambulance, and then mama feeling better.  I also love how he titled it in English words, "Mamma Cek."  (mama sick.)

So, all told, I think he got it.

Still, I thought their would be some intense emotion.  Not so much.

I was relieved, because ultimately I just worried that the kids might take it personally or be distraught.  We spent the day together, including going to the wrong church meeting...yes, they changed our time with the New Year - surprise!  And when the time came for the new couple to arrive, we gave them their new backpacks, filled with their toys.  They were so happy and excited (Thank you Nancy Hegedus!) and really loved them. 

The couple arrived and gave them little presents and they pretty much just started looking for their coats and shoes, put on their backpacks and Dos vedanya Comrades!

We played a few of our little games and jokes with them to teach the new couple, but the kids were already talking and telling them stories, Aloysia had greeted them with a big hug, and even Sasha looked happy and interested.  I was so relieved and continued to feel peace about our decision.  It helped to meet this couple and feel their warmth as well.

We loaded them up, I waved goodbye and they blew me kisses from the window with big smiles.  I turned and walked in the house....and my heart broke a little.  Empty house.  Silence.  All I had wanted was peace and quiet and rest, and here it was in front of me....and it kind of hurt. 

Talk about a compacted version of life.  We went from what felt like giving birth, to empty nesters in 3 weeks.  And experienced every emotion and stage in between.  I feel spent, nauseous, and sad. 

I don't know what the future holds for us or those darling, devious buns.  It's OK, I know that's life.  I just need a minute.

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